Things To Say (or Not To Say) To A Cancer Patient

1.  Please don't call cancer the "C" word.  If you can't say, imagine how I feel - I'm living with it.

2.  Please don't tell me to "think positive".  Most of the time I am positive, but sometimes when I talk to someone, I let my guard down and I cry.  That doesn't mean I mope around all the time.  AND there is no proof that positive thinking actually helps.  Don't make a cancer patient feel like they are lessening their chance of survival because they aren't positive 100 % of the time!!!

3.  Please don't ask too many questions about my cancer.  I had uterine cancer, but that is a still a hard word to spit out in polite company.  And don't ask me what stage or grade my cancer was, or how big the tumor was - it's really none of your business!

4.  I had none of the risk factors for my cancer - there was no reason I should have gotten it!!  I've always made quite healthy lifestyle choices.  That's just the way cancer is - you never know when, where or why it will strike, so don't ask why!

5.  And yes, I have to have frequent check-ups for the next 5 years.  Please don't act shocked.  Yes!  They got all my cancer!  No!  It didn't spread to the lymph nodes! But there is a chance it will come back!!!  You're shocked?  Imagine how I feel!!!!

6. Oh! And, please don't say stuff like - why did it take you so long to go to the Doctor! I had a sneaking suspicion that I had cancer, but I really didn't want to find out the answer and that's why I waited so long. If I had it to do over, I wouldn't have waited. Duh!

7.  Last of all, (and I know this sounds contradictory) but please don't ignore the whole thing.  I'm a cancer survivor and proud of it, but I still like to hear something uplifting - my youngest daughter often tells me what a strong woman woman I have been - I don't really agree with her, but it is nice to hear.  Tell me you're glad I came through the surgery well, that you're glad I'm well - it's just nice to know someone remembers what I went through!!!